Sunyatta Journals

Isn't it strange that loud tropical birds are relaxing to us, but equally loud machineries are annoying? Is it the machinery that is annoying? Or do we make it so? Or consider this different perspective: Sometimes you can be so captivated by an interesting activity, that you wouldn't even realize that there is some annoying noise playing. And other times the noise would annoy you so much that you can't focus on the activity. Is it the noise that is annoying? or is it that you are not captivated enough? What about breathing? We take it for granted but it is the most interesting thing of all. Each breath causes life, and when it ceases, so does life. Your entire reality starts here, with the in-breath. Imagine if you can make your breathing as interesting as the most captivating movie. Make it as beautiful as the most beautiful of birdsongs. No noise would be able to bother you. Such is meditation.

The computer, the internet, and social media, are incredible human achievements. We've conquered one of the most basic elements, guided them in such a controlled way that we can communicate and share ideas across the world in an instant. Yet, throughout these wires, we still carry the same flaws of the mind: we are attracted to pleasure, angered by pain, and deluded by falsehood. You must have seen this for yourself. Algorithms tends to favour shock value without any real merit. Contents tend to elicit anger and division, to put labels on groups of people and hate them, ignoring the fact that we all have the same basic needs. The market has shown that this model is very lucrative, despite the harm. Digital or real, the mind is the mind. Even an amazing feat like conquering electrons can not cure the mind's sickness, but it only spreads the sickness through the wires. We can try to control the entire the universe, but the answer would never be reached for as long as we're lo...

Like most kids from my culture, I was raised to be obedient. In a way, this is a good survival technique for a child. If the world is hostile, follow a capable leader. However, problems arise when this understanding of life is carried into adulthood, into morality and how I conduct myself. At school, the teachers' morality become my morality. At work, the boss's morality becomes mine. Sometimes even confident friends or particularly vocal people on the internet would become my moral guide. This logic fails in the face of reality that sometimes (actually often times) the leader is misguided. Many leaders in my life taught me how to survive the environment that they are familiar with, but not truly what is what. Believing them results in a somewhat functional life in the short term, but upon closer introspection, this was a slow drip of poison that would cause great suffering in the long run. Had I not embarked on this journey to see things truly as they are, I can imagine myself...

To judge others for imperfect conduct is to place a limiter on your future self. When you judge others, you place yourself above the one you judge. "I'd never do something like that". That is a promise waiting to be broken. Life is impermanent and uncertain, and you may very well find yourself in a situation where you have to act imperfect. If you're judgmental, you will not be compassionate to yourself since you've become the person you've judged. We are all capable of mistakes and imperfection, and it would be an affront to the dharma if we believe we're above it all. Instead of judging, I hope we understand each other a little more.

If you can enjoy your breathing, then waiting is no longer a waste of time.

Sometimes we bottle up emotions and it explodes spectacularly and surprisingly. Each time we experience such explosion it is telling us a lot. Sometimes we are great friends to others, to parents, to coworkers, but we are not good to ourselves. Sometimes we focus on our jobs at the expense of our health. Listen to yourself like you'd listen to a good friend. Notice when he's in pain, notice the kind of things he enjoys, and do right by him.

How it came to pass My mother, who is as interested in Buddhism as I am, told me of venerated figure who would be visiting our city and invited me to attend. Normally I would decline, but this time I felt inclined to go. I did not know who Ajahn Jayasaro was, but I felt this is a rare opportunity to meet with a mind which is close to Dhamma. By that time I was already quite interested in Buddhism and the Dhamma, but it was in a solitary manner. I have found solitude and self-reflection to greatly benefit my development, but there is always a lingering doubt. "What if I'm totally off-track?" "What if I'm wrong?" Meeting with a master, seeing how he talks, and having the opportunity to ask him questions, felt like the perfect antidote to those doubts. By that time I studied about anapanasati and started to try it out for myself. Even though I was not able to get very far, I have found the experience to be almost as described by the Buddha. My level of doubt wa...