About Wisdom and Obedience

Like most kids from my culture, I was raised to be obedient.

In a way, this is a good survival technique for a child. If the world is hostile, follow a capable leader.

However, problems arise when this understanding of life is carried into adulthood, into morality and how I conduct myself.

At school, the teachers' morality become my morality. At work, the boss's morality becomes mine. Sometimes even confident friends or particularly vocal people on the internet would become my moral guide.

This logic fails in the face of reality that sometimes (actually often times) the leader is misguided. Many leaders in my life taught me how to survive the environment that they are familiar with, but not truly what is what. Believing them results in a somewhat functional life in the short term, but upon closer introspection, this was a slow drip of poison that would cause great suffering in the long run.

Had I not embarked on this journey to see things truly as they are, I can imagine myself living in a cycle of forever being disappointed. Such is the cost of trading wisdom for obedience.

It is worth noting that I am not recommending being stubborn or disobedient simply for the sake of it, but I am pointing out the harm of outsourcing wisdom to someone other than yourself. Obedience borne out of fear or the need for approval can easily lead to this kind of heedlessness.

As it was said in the passage I've memorized since I was a child but never learned the meaning until recently:

Svākkhāto bhagavatā dhammo,

The Dhamma is well-expounded by the Blessed One,

Sandiṭṭhiko akāliko ehipassiko,

to be seen here & now, timeless, inviting all to come & see,

Opanayiko paccattaṁ veditabbo viññūhīti.

pertinent, to be seen by the observant for themselves.

(From https://buddho.org/the-dhajagga-paritta-chant-iti-pi-so/)

The dharma (or the truth) is here and now, or in other words, self-evident. There is no magic teacher, boss, or book that will bestow the understanding of the truth upon me. Books and advice from others can help, but the only necessary and sufficient condition is my own ability to see it clearly. 

Indeed, when I first read about the 3 marks of existence, that all conditioned things are impermanent (or uncertain), conducive to suffering, and not selves, I was highly skeptical. Firstly, I was skeptical of the expounded truth itself, and secondly I was skeptical of the relevance of this seemingly cryptic truth to my life.

But as time went on, it kept being proven more and more right. Unlike the advice of the leaders I put on a pedestal, unlike the "life hacks" I keep hearing about (which start off having a strong sales pitch but slowly fizzle out when field-tested), the real truth started weak and subtle, but kept getting stronger and stronger as I experienced more of life and reflected upon it.

"Wow... that's true"
"Oh, that's right"
"Huh, I never thought of it like that"

Over and over, hundreds if not thousands of time, until the doubt is no more. False truths have many exceptions and errata, like "For the most part, this is the way things are .. BUT". Real truths, such as the 3 marks of existence, has no buts. The statement is complete and has been complete for over 2 millennia. I believe the Buddha not because I am obedient, but because I see what he's saying. If I ever lose my way to false advice, true wisdom will always be my north star. As for the resolve to have the discipline to walk the path, that's a whole different adventure.